From Silence to Voice: Preventing Abuse In The Frum Community
For the sake of readers, I won't describe what happened. It's too graphic. But that abuse lasted for five long, unbearable years
My Story! לא תעמוד על דם רעך
My name is Leiby. I grew up in Rockland County, the youngest of seven. On the surface, my childhood seemed okay, but I always felt like I didn’t belong.
On September 11, 2001-the day of the deadliest terrorist attack in U.S. history-I experienced my own personal terror.
There was a well-known man in the community, someone powerful and respected. I went to him for advice, feeling confused and scared. His son let me into the house. That day, I met the man-who turned out to be a monster. He abused me.
For the sake of readers, I won’t describe what happened. It’s too graphic. But that abuse lasted for five long, unbearable years.
Finally, about a month after my bar mitzvah, I came home very late one night. My mother asked where I had been. I told her everything. She broke down in tears, hugged me, and told me, “Never, ever go back to him.”
The next day, I went to one of the town’s official rabbis. He believed me and told me the same thing: “Don’t go back.” About a year later, I even went to the chief rabbi’s house. He did absolutely nothing.
Two years later, I moved to Brooklyn and enrolled in a new school. I was incredibly lucky to attend an amazing high school/yeshiva. There, I connected deeply with two incredible rabbi/teachers who supported me. They were more than educators-they were mentors who truly cared.
After I graduated, I made a decision: I would go to the police. I wanted to arrest the man who had abused me and bring him to justice. Unfortunately, he was let off. But people still believed me-and that made a difference.
Let me be clear: I’m not writing this for sympathy or empathy. That’s not why I’m telling my story.
I’m writing because something must change-urgently-in our communities.
We need to raise awareness about child abuse. We need to talk about it openly with our families, in a healthy, honest way. One of the biggest reasons victims stay silent is because they fear they won’t be believed. And sadly, they’re often right.
It breaks my heart to hear stories from other survivors-stories told in whispers, in silence, in fear. It’s easier for people to pretend abuse doesn’t exist than to face it head-on. But that silence protects predators, not children.
I’m not here to point fingers or assign blame. That’s not my purpose. I’m here to say: it’s time.
It’s time to believe our innocent victims. It’s time to talk about abuse-not in whispers, but out loud. It’s time to take a stand.
Today, I ask you to do one thing that makes a difference. Speak up. Listen. Learn. Protect.
If you’d like to contact me, please reach out through FrumNews.
17 Comments
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07/17/2025 | כ"א תמוז התשפ"ה
When my parents would not believe me, it was almost worse than the abuse. Please believe your kids.
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07/01/2025 | ה' תמוז התשפ"ה
Leiby you are not alone. Thank Gd I’ve seen an increase in vigilance for the last 15 years. Even the goyim are fighting for the children. Look at all the child trafficking operations being raided and Jewish organizations that are finally taking a stance. It’s getting better but way too slow. Keep sharing your story.
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06/30/2025 | ד' תמוז התשפ"ה
Not just Rebbeim…Rabbis of shuls and people that daven in Shuls. Some parents send young children to shul with the father so the mother can sleep later on Shabbos. While the father is daveningr the child is on his own …not safe
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06/30/2025 | ד' תמוז התשפ"ה
You are a brave and tough cookie. I’m sorry what you had to go through, but your strength and perseverance is really inspiring. Keep up the good fight
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06/30/2025 | ד' תמוז התשפ"ה
Leiby, you are awesome!!!! No more shame, no more guilt. We need to protect our children, not predators
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06/30/2025 | ד' תמוז התשפ"ה
You’re doing a major service for כלל ישראל. Your message needs to resonate with everyone. Even if one parent takes extra precautions to protect their kids. It will be 100% on you. You’re doing the Lord’s work.
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06/29/2025 | ג' תמוז התשפ"ה
It’s time for the rebbes and community people to stop closing their eyes when abusers are big machers and donors!!!! Abusers KNOW they can get away with it in our community. Sadly!!!
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06/29/2025 | ג' תמוז התשפ"ה
People like you are the most inspiring to be able to bring up the most vulnerable places inside yourself and the most delicate and dramatic events of your life inspire me to do the same! Thank you for standing up for all of us! We need to join in your path!
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06/29/2025 | ג' תמוז התשפ"ה
I always believe that no child should be left alone without a responsible adult- someone who truly cares for the child. No closed-door therapy, not with a licensed professional, Rabbi, or anyone else. It’s said that the people we think are on top in this world are on the bottom in the next, and vice versa. Status means nothing. Don’t trust anyone until they give you 100% proof that they can be trusted. And even then be cautious. These are our children!!!!!!!
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06/29/2025 | ג' תמוז התשפ"ה
I am sorry you went through such a nightmare. You are blessed to have such an amazing mother, and some rabbis. I wish no child ever suffered/will suffer as you have. Thank you for telling your story. Praying you have the best possible life going forward.
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06/29/2025 | ג' תמוז התשפ"ה
Thanks for being vulnerable. This abuser needs to be added to the wall of shame.
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06/29/2025 | ג' תמוז התשפ"ה
Wow I am so sorry for you I know how you feel! Because I was abused too ! May hashem help all of his children
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06/29/2025 | ג' תמוז התשפ"ה
How could he have been let off?! BH he got out when he did. What on G-D ‘s green earth is going on?
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06/29/2025 | ג' תמוז התשפ"ה
Thank you for sharing your story!!!!
You are right, we have to listen, learn and protect!!Take care
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06/29/2025 | ג' תמוז התשפ"ה
Thank you so much. I agree. Thank you for your bravery.
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06/29/2025 | ג' תמוז התשפ"ה
So sorry.
Not just this type of abuse. Favoritism, financial abuse, motzie shem ra. Basically, it’s a problem of power. People in power think they’re above the law and everyone else is afraid to speak up and end up as their targets too.
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06/29/2025 | ג' תמוז התשפ"ה
It’s very refreshing for someone to tell their life story especially when it’s painful. May God bless you!!!!
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