Op-Ed: I Ate In a Kosher Restaurant, But Is It a ‘Jewish’ Establishment?

A reader writes, It began with the change to non-Jewish music. Soon, the benchers and washing station were tucked away, hidden in hard-to-see places. Ask the waiter if the bread is Hamotzi or Mezonos and you are met with a blank stare and a mumbled "I'll check with the manager". What comes next and how do we fix it?

Submitted to the FrumNews.com inbox

It began with the change of music. Soon, the benchers and washing station were tucked away, hidden in hard-to-see places. Ask the waiter if the bread is Hamotzi or Mezonos and you are met with a blank stare and a mumbled “I’ll check with the manager”. Of course, the manager was none the wiser as they only learned of Kosher and Pas Yisroel the other day. The change crept up on us slowly but soon completely altered the Kosher dining experience.

As Frum Yidden, we still only eat at restaurants with the best Hechsherim in the world, which employ professional Mashgichim who observe the gleaming kitchens and confirm that every lettuce leaf was carefully checked. Our meat comes from the shochtim who are Yirei Shamayim with the strictest chumros. Our bread are baked with Yoshon wheat and the tape on our delivery bags with the Hashgocha symbol on it is the strongest yet. Everything is very Kosher, but hardly Jewish.

Eating out in luxury has its place and is perfectly compatible with our frum life. It is just important to remember that we are eating out as frum yidden. There is something that makes our kosher restaurants different from the treif’e steakhouse down the street. The big sign with many signatures denoting the top-notch hashgacha alongside the A+ health rating sign, along with many awards and positive reviews, only tells a small part of the story. Is this a Jewish restaurant? Will this be a Jewish environment where the things necessary for a frum Jew to enjoy their meal come as easily and naturally as the waiter refilling the glass of water?

For hundreds of years, the marketplaces and Kretchme’s in the Shtetlach of Europe and Russia, the bustling Mellah’s were run by bubby’s, zaidy’s, and innkeepers who all wore their Yiddishkeit on their sleeve. You could not walk into their shop without immediately being enveloped in a world that screamed unapologetically we are Torah Yidden.

This is something that has significantly changed in the past years. That feeling when you walk into a restaurant and you know immediately that you are in a Jewish space is slowly disappearing. No matter how up-scale or exclusive a restaurant, there used to always be the tell-tale signs that you were in a place made for frum Yidden. Now, however, it seems that feeling is slipping away. It is often unintentional on the owner’s part. They are running a high-stakes, stressful business and barely have enough time to walk inside their actual store to see what it looks like as a visitor. They are overworked and can barely concentrate on the bills stacking up and their payroll, let alone check if their waiters are knowledgeable in the specific details and Halachos of frum life.

One way to mitigate this is hiring frum managers. This has the advantage of firstly giving a frum Yid a good parnasah, and secondly having someone on-site who is intimately familiar with the needs of frum Yidden and our unique sensitivities. They are constantly aware of the ambiance of the restaurant and can take steps to make it a more comfortable experience for frum clientele. They will be aware when the playlist plays music that does not belong and can step in when matters need the attention of someone who knows the neighborhood well.

We have also all heard of far too many stories in recent years where, despite restaurants having frum owners, non-kosher food was still brought in and served to unwitting customers. This has led to deep mistrust on the customers’ part that even a store with a good hashgacha can’t prevent such things from happening when all the backroom staff will never be able to really understand why this matter is so important to us. Having a full-time frum store manager, at the bare minimum, will provide an extra set of eyes on the process. Hiring someone well-regarded will give regular customers confidence again that kashrus is something this kosher restaurant takes seriously.

There are only benefits to such an arrangement and providing community members with good paying jobs whilst also raising the standards of our restaurants kashrus is a win win for all.

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16 Comments

  • Yossel 09/20/2024 | י"ז אלול התשפ"ד

    Im so happy this is being addressed. The casual nonchalance around this issue really bothers me.

  • 613 Music 09/18/2024 | ט"ו אלול התשפ"ד

    If a “Glatt Kosher Restaurant” refuses to play 613/Jewish music (which 7 out of 10 fancy/high end kosher restaurants & steakhouses in NYC don’t play 613 music) they should have their hechsher & hashgocha revoked.

    It’s not about the music, but someone that hates Jewish music should not be trusted with overseeing kosher food and who knows if the food is really kosher or if they cut corners (as happened in the past by the treif/scandal incidents)

  • Kashrus 09/18/2024 | ט"ו אלול התשפ"ד

    Spot on! Everyone has been saying this for the longest time.
    I just shared this article on a Kosher Restaurant WhatsApp Group that i am on.

  • Kosher? 09/18/2024 | ט"ו אלול התשפ"ד

    If a “kosher” restaurant owner does not understand what is wrong with playing Non Jewish music. Then there’s lots more to be “concerned” about Kashrus issues his or her restaurant may be cutting corners on.

    Will Goyishe music make your “Kosher Bacon sandwich” treif, no. But it’s a red flag that the owner only hires the Mashgiach and Kashrus agency only because he or she HAS to, not because they WANT to.

    A yirei shomayim, that will NEVER cut corners when it comes to Kashrus, WANTS to play Jewish music in their restaurant.

  • Kol Isha 09/18/2024 | ט"ו אלול התשפ"ד

    It’s not only goyish music, it’s also by many restaurants Kol isha goyish music

  • A simple jew 09/18/2024 | ט"ו אלול התשפ"ד

    I see a gigantic mountain being made out of a miniscule (almost none existent) molehill. It seems like, rather than simply approach the proprietor and voice your dissatisfaction and request what you’d like, you’d rather make this into something ridiculous.

  • Nice 09/18/2024 | ט"ו אלול התשפ"ד

    Very well written. Simple yet sophisticated. Please use this author again.

  • Deborah Greenberg 09/18/2024 | ט"ו אלול התשפ"ד

    very good article and very true
    they should hire only frim managers

  • Needs to be addressed by Hechsherim companies 09/18/2024 | ט"ו אלול התשפ"ד

    Can someone explain why and how some kosher restaurants in America that have the best Hashgacha, are allowed (for years) to play straight out Non-Jewish music???

  • Uncle Sharia 09/18/2024 | ט"ו אלול התשפ"ד

    Next the mashgichim will have to make sure everyone waits six hours before they can eat in a dairy restaurant. Then they’ll have to make sure brochos and benching are done properly and with zimun. Maybe they should also monitor if the guests are appropriately dressed. And whether dinner parties should be mingling with one another in the first place. We wouldn’t want the op-ed writer to cringe while he’s listening to his Jewish music!

  • Common sense 09/18/2024 | ט"ו אלול התשפ"ד

    Isn’t it self understood that one should not put on goyshe music in a Jewish store?

    Where is the “common sense” of some restaurant owners in our community that are deliberately playing treif music

  • yisroel 09/18/2024 | ט"ו אלול התשפ"ד

    Its so true what was written and just to add even the menues have become less jewish with all these cheese burgers onnthe menu and bacon which hopefully is imitation why does everything have to be like the goyim . What happened to stuff cabbage days at restaurants and other heimish jewish food that used to be foumd at kosher restaurants?

  • Shimon 09/18/2024 | ט"ו אלול התשפ"ד

    Will any more customers enter a Glatt Kosher high end luxury restaurant located in the center of a frum and Jewish community because the playlist currently has Kol isha music on? Obviously no.

    We have more than enough Jewish music to choose from for FREE.

    Furthermore I’m wondering how Rabbonim in charge of the largest USA Kashrus orgs are even allowing this?

    Maybe it’s time for a simple change, maybe restaurants should click to play the Jewish songs instead of the FM radio songs…

  • Ben Torah 09/18/2024 | ט"ו אלול התשפ"ד

    “They will be aware when the playlist plays music that does not belong and can step in when matters need the attention of someone who knows the neighborhood well”

    What about the halacha that music shouldn’t be played or listened to while eating, with the exception of seudas mitzvah, which is not the typical meal in a restaurant?

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