Op-Ed: I Ate In a Kosher Restaurant, But Is It a ‘Jewish’ Establishment?

A reader writes, It began with the change to non-Jewish music. Soon, the benchers and washing station were tucked away, hidden in hard-to-see places. Ask the waiter if the bread is Hamotzi or Mezonos and you are met with a blank stare and a mumbled "I'll check with the manager". What comes next and how do we fix it?
Submitted to the FrumNews inbox
It began with the change of music. Soon, the benchers and washing station were tucked away, hidden in hard-to-see places. Ask the waiter if the bread is Hamotzi or Mezonos and you are met with a blank stare and a mumbled “I’ll check with the manager”. Of course, the manager was none the wiser as they only learned of Kosher and Pas Yisroel the other day. The change crept up on us slowly but soon completely altered the Kosher dining experience.
As Frum Yidden, we still only eat at restaurants with the best Hechsherim in the world, which employ professional Mashgichim who observe the gleaming kitchens and confirm that every lettuce leaf was carefully checked. Our meat comes from the shochtim who are Yirei Shamayim with the strictest chumros. Our bread are baked with Yoshon wheat and the tape on our delivery bags with the Hashgocha symbol on it is the strongest yet. Everything is very Kosher, but hardly Jewish.
Eating out in luxury has its place and is perfectly compatible with our frum life. It is just important to remember that we are eating out as frum yidden. There is something that makes our kosher restaurants different from the treif’e steakhouse down the street. The big sign with many signatures denoting the top-notch hashgacha alongside the A+ health rating sign, along with many awards and positive reviews, only tells a small part of the story. Is this a Jewish restaurant? Will this be a Jewish environment where the things necessary for a frum Jew to enjoy their meal come as easily and naturally as the waiter refilling the glass of water?
For hundreds of years, the marketplaces and Kretchme’s in the Shtetlach of Europe and Russia, the bustling Mellah’s were run by bubby’s, zaidy’s, and innkeepers who all wore their Yiddishkeit on their sleeve. You could not walk into their shop without immediately being enveloped in a world that screamed unapologetically we are Torah Yidden.
This is something that has significantly changed in the past years. That feeling when you walk into a restaurant and you know immediately that you are in a Jewish space is slowly disappearing. No matter how up-scale or exclusive a restaurant, there used to always be the tell-tale signs that you were in a place made for frum Yidden. Now, however, it seems that feeling is slipping away. It is often unintentional on the owner’s part. They are running a high-stakes, stressful business and barely have enough time to walk inside their actual store to see what it looks like as a visitor. They are overworked and can barely concentrate on the bills stacking up and their payroll, let alone check if their waiters are knowledgeable in the specific details and Halachos of frum life.
One way to mitigate this is hiring frum managers. This has the advantage of firstly giving a frum Yid a good parnasah, and secondly having someone on-site who is intimately familiar with the needs of frum Yidden and our unique sensitivities. They are constantly aware of the ambiance of the restaurant and can take steps to make it a more comfortable experience for frum clientele. They will be aware when the playlist plays music that does not belong and can step in when matters need the attention of someone who knows the neighborhood well.
We have also all heard of far too many stories in recent years where, despite restaurants having frum owners, non-kosher food was still brought in and served to unwitting customers. This has led to deep mistrust on the customers’ part that even a store with a good hashgacha can’t prevent such things from happening when all the backroom staff will never be able to really understand why this matter is so important to us. Having a full-time frum store manager, at the bare minimum, will provide an extra set of eyes on the process. Hiring someone well-regarded will give regular customers confidence again that kashrus is something this kosher restaurant takes seriously.
There are only benefits to such an arrangement and providing community members with good paying jobs whilst also raising the standards of our restaurants kashrus is a win win for all.
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The views expressed here 100% reflect the views of FrumNews Otherwise, we would not have published this opinion piece.
28 Comments
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05/13/2025 | ט"ו אייר התשפ"ה
I am a Jewish resident of NYC and live in a beautiful Orthodox Jewish community in Brooklyn. A new glatt kosher restaurant opened up several years ago not far from my home, a few weeks after the grand opening I went to this restaurant with my family. This restaurant was nice, brand new, expensive furniture with all the most amazing features. I was so impressed, but not just impressed, I was happy about this spectacular new addition to my community, I have never been in such a gorgeous restaurant which also was being ran and managed so perfectly. But the music, I don’t even know where to begin, our family was just utterly shocked how everything is so nice with such a Jewish feeling and boom! The music was the lowest of the low within the secular music world. Needless to say that was the first and last time we ate by that location. If this restaurant would be in Manhattan, I wouldn’t agree but at least I would understand why it’s not “so bad.” But this was in my community. The bad music just takes the Jewish—out of the restaurant, those that understand will understand.
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05/13/2025 | ט"ו אייר התשפ"ה
Spot on! Everyone has been saying this for the longest time.
I just shared this article on a Kosher Restaurant WhatsApp Group that i am on. -
05/13/2025 | ט"ו אייר התשפ"ה
Im so happy this is being addressed. The casual nonchalance around this issue really bothers me.
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05/13/2025 | ט"ו אייר התשפ"ה
All this UNkosher music makes the restaurant’s atmosphere UNkosher, it’s also an UNpleasant experience. To top it off, the restaurant is located nearby to dozens of Shuls & Yeshivas in middle of a thriving Jewish area.
We are not even talking about the Kashrus standards of the food. The music makes for many a distasteful atmosphere that has been going on, and it’s just a shame. I for one know I’m not alone because when I mentioned this by a large Shabbat table, half the crowd agreed.
Kudos to the restaurants which use common sense & play Jewish music. Many more restaurants should follow, it doesn’t take a genius to realize this.
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05/13/2025 | ט"ו אייר התשפ"ה
It’s due time for the kosher certification companies to get involved. Anyone that tries to say that the music doesn’t interfere with the “Kashrus standards” let me ask you, are you ok with your children’s yeshiva playing this garbage music to their talmidim? I mean as long as they daven/learn Torah then one doesn’t have to do with the other, obviously wrong, but this is the same logic.
It’s the atmosphere that’s UNkosher in to many restaurants, and that needs to change. But change will only happen if the kosher certification companies demand it.
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05/13/2025 | ט"ו אייר התשפ"ה
Honestly, it’s a helpless feeling. The finest steakhouse in Brooklyn plays the lowest trash music. One thing is if it is classical music, but it’s dirty club music, if I want that music I can go to a kosher sports bar. Since when did Jewish music get so expensive that restaurants can’t afford to play Jewish songs anymore??It just made the entire outing, which was for a special occasion, feel degraded.
I didn’t complain to the owner, I am not telling anyone how to run their own business, but I never stepped foot back into this restaurant since (4 years.) Saddest part is excluding the music, this restaurant was top quality..
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05/13/2025 | ט"ו אייר התשפ"ה
The article makes some valid points, but in the city I think the secular music and vibe is somewhat okay.
While in a Jewish neighborhood, like Flatbush, Crown Heights, Lakewood and others, it’s totally not okay to play such music, nothing to do with Kashrus, it’s a religious Jewish neighborhood and it should be self understood for restaurants not to play such music. Tznius clothing stores don’t play such music in these communities, hopefully the music will change for the better by restaurants within every Jewish community.
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04/24/2025 | כ"ו ניסן התשפ"ה
This is not only an issue in restaurants, but the play places we take our kids too that are owned by frum Jews, but play non- Jewish music because it is part of a franchise and this is what they do.
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04/22/2025 | כ"ד ניסן התשפ"ה
Just curious … have you ever operated a food business? Worked in one ? Any business experience at all ? Also, where does it say that going out to restaurants is part and parcel of Frum life ?
Today lots of people don’t want to work, or work hard, and want a lot of money to do little. Then there is the customer behavior issue. Nuff said. -
04/22/2025 | כ"ד ניסן התשפ"ה
“Eating out in luxury is perfectly compatible with our frum lifestyle.” Yes, in moderation. “Kedoshim tihyu.” I love eating in high end restaurants, but I try to be mindful to act in a consistent manner with regard to my values. I woukdnt trust the kashrus of a restaurant that has very immodestly dressed servers, but the music doesn’t give me pause. Anyway, we are lucky to have so many choices. I hope I dont sound snooty; I dont mean to. We cant afford sinas chinam. The cost is too high! Best wishes to all.
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04/22/2025 | כ"ד ניסן התשפ"ה
At least in america i can say if u are going to a restaurant with good hashgacha there will be a frum manager or mashgiach to answer all your halachic questions
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04/22/2025 | כ"ד ניסן התשפ"ה
All these complications mentioned in the article, seem to be by full waiter service restaurants. Kosher fast foods and take-outs for the most part don’t have any of these issues.
By kosher fast foods, behind the counter is usually the friendly Israeli manager or owner, who respects all forms of Halacha and if they spot you eating that shwarma laffa without washing your hands, they will tell you to go wash for Hamotzi. At the same time you hearing the latest Israeli music in the background being played on the speakers.
After paying your bill, Don’t you even dare try to sneak out of the Shwarma / Falafel joint without bentching Birkas Hamazon, or the non-religious Israeli cashier girl will give you a stare that you will never forget your entire life.
What a difference between most Kosher fast foods which proudly boast their Yiddishkeit, and unfortunately by most fancy upscale kosher restaurants which unintentionally hide their yiddishkeit.
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04/22/2025 | כ"ד ניסן התשפ"ה
If a “Glatt Kosher Restaurant” refuses to play 613/Jewish music (which 7 out of 10 fancy/high end kosher restaurants & steakhouses in NYC don’t play 613 music) they should have their hechsher & hashgocha revoked.
It’s not about the music, but someone that hates Jewish music should not be trusted with overseeing kosher food and who knows if the food is really kosher or if they cut corners (as happened in the past by the treif/scandal incidents)
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04/22/2025 | כ"ד ניסן התשפ"ה
I went to (a beautiful and delicious) 5-star kosher restaurant in South Florida before Pesach. They served fish & meat appetizers at the same time. (This is not allowed in Kosher facilities.)
I do have to admit, it is our fault for ordering both those appetizers, but a Jewish/Frum head waiter or kitchen manager possibly would have the foresight to leave a few minute gap between fish & meat.
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04/22/2025 | כ"ד ניסן התשפ"ה
Very well written. Simple yet sophisticated
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04/22/2025 | כ"ד ניסן התשפ"ה
Will any more customers enter a Glatt Kosher high end luxury restaurant located in the center of a frum and Jewish community because the playlist currently has Kol isha music on? Obviously no.
We have more than enough Jewish music to choose from for FREE.
Furthermore wondering how Rabbonim in charge of the largest USA Kashrus orgs are even allowing this?
Maybe it’s time for a simple change, maybe restaurants should click to play the Jewish songs instead of the FM radio songs…
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forum Reply to Tzvi b 04/22/2025 | כ"ד ניסן התשפ"ה
So right
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04/22/2025 | כ"ד ניסן התשפ"ה
It’s not only goyish music, it’s also by many restaurants Kol isha goyish music
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04/22/2025 | כ"ד ניסן התשפ"ה
I don’t want to comment negative on any restaurant, as I’m sure they all try their very best. But I do want to highlight a NYC kosher restaurant which lives & breaths Torah & Mitzvos. Deli Kasba everything about them screams we are proud Frum Jews. They have videos of the Chabad Rebbe being played on large screens, they prioritize Halachic minhagim, the bentchers, the washing station. It’s all about “Thank You Hashem” You even get a free desert if you say a “Dvar Torah.”
It’s an experience of a lifetime dining in a top notch Manhattan eatery, getting a full scale Torah experience with a warm vibe.
Anyone that has not been to this restaurant is definitely missing out, their details is:
Kasbah Kosher Grill (AKA “Deli Kasbah”)
251 W 85th Street, New York, NY 10024(No, I am NOT affiliated with this restaurant in any way shape or form, it’s just one of the best possible kosher restaurant experiences and if you don’t believe me then ASK anyone that went there)
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04/22/2025 | כ"ד ניסן התשפ"ה
Can someone explain why and how some kosher restaurants in America that have the best Hashgacha, are allowed (for years) to play straight out Non-Jewish music???
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04/22/2025 | כ"ד ניסן התשפ"ה
If a “kosher” restaurant owner does not understand what is wrong with playing Non Jewish music. Then there’s lots more to be “concerned” about Kashrus issues his or her restaurant may be cutting corners on.
Will Goyishe music make your “Kosher Bacon sandwich” treif, no. But it’s a red flag that the owner only hires the Mashgiach and Kashrus agency only because he or she HAS to, not because they WANT to.
A yirei shomayim, that will NEVER cut corners when it comes to Kashrus, WANTS to play Jewish music in their restaurant.
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